10 Ways Handwritten Letters Provide Powerful Connection And A Personal Touch

How often do you communicate via text or email these days? 

All the time? 

Do you remember the first time you sent a text or email? 

What about the last time you wrote a letter by hand?

Living in the digital age, many of us primarily rely on our smartphones or computers to communicate with others, but in doing so, are we actually missing out on a greater means of connection? 

The digital age is said to have begun as early as the 1970s, when personal computers and digital communication first became available. 

Of course, most folks didn’t have a personal computer until the 80s or 90s, and smartphones didn’t become widely used until around 2010. 

But, no matter when the digital age personally impacted how you communicate with others, there’s no denying we’re all fully immersed in and personally affected by the digital age today. 

“Don’t call me, send a text…” 

“Did you get my email?” 

“Text me later and tell me all about it.”

These are now common phrases many of us use on a regular basis.

Even my dad, who’s almost 70 years old, now routinely utters the phrase “I’ll just text you…” 

(Personally, that’s a very odd phrase for me to hear, coming from my father.)

And, I know I’m not alone. 

We’ve all been affected by this societal shift towards convenience. 

Truly, that’s what digital communication provides - convenience. 

When you think about it, it’s pretty amazing to be able to stay in touch with friends and family through quick (even lengthy) texts and emails. 

And, how great is it to share photos with those we love in a matter of seconds, all because of digital communication technology?

But, do these methods of communication actually foster the connection we desire with those we love? 

Studies show that despite the ease we experience with digital communication, folks are lonelier than ever, lacking a true sense of personal connection with others. 

So then, let’s get back to one of our opening questions from above…

Do you remember the last time you sent or received a hand-written letter? 

This practice seems nearly archaic today, but there are many benefits associated with skipping that text or email and instead, putting pen to paper. 

So, let’s buck the system a bit and return to what seems like an old practice, looking at how letter writing can provide a personal touch in relationships, fostering connection in a way that texts and emails often lack.

Writing And Receiving Letters

Why write a letter when you can text or email the same message? 

I mean, typing is generally quicker than writing. 

And, the recipient has the ability to receive your message instantly. 

So, why would you hand-write a message that could otherwise be sent in such a convenient manner? 

Sara Algoe, a professor of psychology and neuroscience, has summed up her assessment of this practice with the following statement - “as humans, we want to feel valued and loved and respected, and a letter signals that…a letter shows this person was thinking about me and took the time to actually put pen to paper.” 

We’ll certainly expound upon this notion, but there’s no denying the following when it comes to writing and receiving letters:

Writing A Letter - Putting pen to paper takes more time and effort than a text or email. And, most times when we do this, our thoughts are more deliberate and our feelings for the recipient are expressed in a deeper way. 

Sitting down to write a letter to a friend or loved one requires a greater amount of mindfulness, and as you pen your thoughts, you are often more reflective than when composing a text or email. 

In other words, this process is typically more personal than digital communication methods. 

Receiving A Letter - When we receive a handwritten letter, note, or card this communicates value and appreciation. Before we even read the contents of a handwritten letter, such a gesture says, “this person cared enough to take the time to sit down and express these sentiments.” 

Receiving a letter provides a physical or tangible item signifying an element of care and concern gifted from the writer. 

Ultimately, whether you’re writing or receiving a letter, you are involved in an authentic experience, one fostering a deep and meaningful connection. 

How can something as simple as a handwritten letter or card provide so much? 

Let’s find out…

The Connecting Powers Of A Handwritten Letter

1- Deeper Meaning

Writing a letter takes a little more time and effort than a simple text or email, so right off the bat, this practice becomes more meaningful. 

Sure, it takes time to compose a message when communicating through digital means, but there’s no denying the fact that writing a letter involves more thought, more time, and often greater intention. 

We all know these aspects of letter writing to be true, and this is why receiving such a note inherently communicates something deeper, something more personal than even the most well-intentioned, kind, and encouraging text.

2- Deeper Connection

With deeper meaning comes deeper connection. 

Letter writing is a slow practice. 

And, as we slow down our thoughts, syncing with the time it takes to write (as opposed to typing), it encourages deeper reflection. 

As we reflect upon what we’re seeking to communicate in our writing, we’re actually fostering a deeper connection with the recipient in the process. 

This is also true for the recipient of a handwritten letter.

Oftentimes when reading through a text or an email, as we take in these words on a screen, our thoughts can still be racing through to-dos, distracted by other items present on the screen, etc. 

But, when we read a handwritten letter, holding this tangible item in our hands as we read, something happens…

• Without the distraction of a screen, we can mindfully step away from the business of life for a moment and take our time to read the heartfelt words before us. 
• Focused solely on the physical page before you, a letter provides a tangible, personal means of connection with the sender. 
• Just the simple act of slowing down, something reading through a handwritten letter forces you to do, can open the door for your mind to connect with the words and the person ‘behind’ those words on the page in front of you.

3- Strengthens Relationships

The thoughtfulness of letter writing serves to express the type of care and kindness that strengthens relationships. 

Sure, texts can be meaningful as well, but routinely communicating via hand written letters, due to their inherent personal touch, can serve to strengthen the connection and relationship you have with the individual (both recipient and sender). 

From personal experience, I can tell you that even in the beginning stages of a friendship, the thoughtfulness behind a handwritten note, card, or letter is powerful, strengthening even those initial bonds you’re forming with a person. 

I realize this is an odd way of putting it, but letter writing almost seems magical or mysterious in this regard. 

I recently met a group of fellow moms, and over the course of several weeks, I felt a connection with one of the moms. 

Her children are young, and as most moms know in-person communication can be difficult with littles constantly needing your attention. 

So, as I was thinking of her one day, instead of sending a text, I decided to hand-write a short card/letter, and send it to her in the mail. 

I can definitely attest to the above information, truly feeling more connected to her as I penned my thoughts. 

And, our friendship has truly been strengthened since that time. 

She shared with me that receiving this tangible expression was a real encouragement to her, and we’ve since been able to connect further, the letter serving as a strengthening springboard in our relationship.

4- Lessens Loneliness

No matter how great letter writing is, it still can’t replace in-person, face-to-face, connection. 

However, it is a close second! 

Unfortunately, despite its convenient qualities, digital communication, including social media, has been proven to leave folks feeling depressed and lonely. 

You’ve likely heard headlines for such statistics that go a little something like this - “despite being more connected, we’re lonelier than ever…” 

The thing is, the practice of letter writing draws our hearts and minds to think of the recipient on a deeper level, and this provides a sense of connection (as we covered above) that is much greater than what we’re experiencing with digital communication. 

Here, as you write, even as you prepare to send the letter, the bond you feel with the recipient serves to ease feelings of loneliness. 

Likewise, upon receiving a handwritten letter the connection you feel to the one who took the time to pen it also serves to eliminate loneliness as you feel closer (despite distance) to the sender.

5- Encourages Honesty

Whether good or bad, emotions are often more greatly felt and expressed in letter writing versus texting. 

As we take the time to sit down and write, emotions that are difficult to communicate in person or over text commonly seem easier to express on paper. 

Whether you’re processing difficult emotions, seeking to apologize, or simply seeking to accurately, deeply, communicate appreciation for someone, the act of writing a letter can often encourage honesty and openness. 

Letter writing also allows us to more intentionally contemplate our words, choosing them slowly and wisely. 

And again, this is typically felt from the recipient’s perspective as well, as a letter carries with it a measure of sincerity before the writer’s words are ever read.

6- Gifted Memories And Treasures

If you’re a parent, you know how precious your children’s drawings and writings become as they get older - it’s as if their scribblings and misspelled words written from their youthful hearts turn into priceless possessions worth more than any given price. 

Likewise, we tend to treasure early writings and cards from our partner or significant other. 

Even in the pain of loss, words penned from the hand of a loved one become balm for our grieving souls, items perhaps taken for granted in life, now becoming far more deeply treasured in their absence. 

This is what the gift of a handwritten letter brings. 

In my immediate family, we’ve not bought each other cards for birthdays in years, instead choosing to hand-make cards or write letters for special occasions, and I can tell you these tangible items provide such warmth and deep connection each and every time I read them. 

In other words, when you take the time to hand-write a letter or card, you’ve given the recipient a physical item to accompany your sentiments, a tangible memory, a piece to remember for years to come.

7- Dims Distance

When distance separates us from loved ones, phone conversations, texts, emails, and social media definitely provide a welcomed, convenient way to stay in touch. 

But, as we’ve seen thus far, these methods of communication can also lack that deeper connection and personal touch we desire with/from those we love, and once again, this is where letter writing provides a wonderful benefit. 

Whether you’re writing a letter to or receiving a letter from a friend or loved one from afar, those heartfelt, thoughtfully penned words have a way of bridging any gaps in your relationship due to distance. 

Many soldiers have explained that handwritten letters from friends and family members back home serve to bring a sense of comfort and a little piece of home to them. 

Students away at college or those newly venturing out into ‘life’ feel a closeness and needed connection to their parents, friends, or other family members when they receive letters, cards, or care packages from home. 

In fact, I’m sure most of us can recall a time when we were away from our loved ones, and if you’ve ever received a letter during such a time, you know the sense of warmth and connection it can bring.

Of course, you’ve likely felt a sense of closeness when writing to loved ones who live a great distance from you as well. 

So, the next time you’re missing a loved one or friend who lives a little farther away, this distance preventing regular in-person meetings, take the time to sit down and write to your loved one, you won’t regret it!

8- A Piece Of History

Did you know, writing letters can actually serve to create a piece of history? 

In my letter-writing benefit search today, I stumbled across this notion, and it stunned me at first. 

How could a personal letter to a friend or family member be considered a piece of history? 

Or rather…how could it not?! 

Have you ever wondered how much of the history we’ve come to learn today was actually obtained from the details of a hand written letter?

For instance, former US President Ronald Reagan was said to routinely write letters to loved ones, his words often detailing events of the time. 

My husband and I started dating in 2001, and some of my early writings to him included events, emotions, and circumstances surrounding the September 11th attacks on our country. 

These words don’t simply serve to chronicle the events that took place, but they also vividly paint a picture of not only my emotions at the time but the emotional temperature of my surroundings as well. (I was a student at Purdue University at the time, and reading through those letters now paints a vivid picture of how this event affected many in my generation, some leaving school to join the military, one professor retiring early, some families directly affected by loss, others changing their path of study, etc.). 

Over time, most people tend to shorten texts to include abbreviations, emojis, and such. But letter writing is approached as a break in time, moments set aside to fully express, in writing, what’s on our heart and mind. 

Years later, these words and the emotion evident in their penning, provide us with a glimpse in time, showcasing not only personal thoughts but sometimes a greater landscape…a piece of history.

9- Therapeutic In Nature

If you practice mindfulness, then you’ve likely detected some intentional wording throughout this article, hinting at the notion that letter writing does indeed incorporate this practice. 

Mindfulness is highly therapeutic, allowing you to be fully present in the moment, eschewing distractions, instead focusing solely on your surroundings, calming your thoughts, and truly ‘feeling’ present. 

With letter writing, you are putting away distractions, and focusing your thoughts. And, as you allow yourself to ‘feel’ in that present moment, here specifically directed towards the recipient, the ability to clearly express yourself serves as a therapeutic action, one which can bring a sense of calmness. 

To add, the time you spend writing, this intentional penning of endearment, encouragement, or a means of catching up, allows you to essentially put your heart onto paper. And in the end, even though your friend or loved one isn’t present, you often feel as if you’ve spent time in their presence, as if you’ve conversed together in love and laughter - a needed therapy indeed!

10- Boosts Brain Activity

Aside from the personal touch a handwritten letter brings, and apart from the connection such a gesture fosters between friends/loved ones, the act of writing and reading print serves as an exercise for your brain. 

As you express yourself in writing, as you artfully, creatively put pen to paper, you are organizing your thoughts, engaging in fine motor coordinated movements, and these actions primarily involve brain functions which enhance learning, memory, and overall cognitive ability. 

So, the next time you stop to send a thoughtful text or email to your friend or family member, consider taking a few extra moments to gather your thoughts and actually pen those words on paper - a practice which not only provides a personal touch but fuels a deeper connection with those you love.

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References:

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https://www.jointhecollective.com/article/the-dangers-of-over-reliance-on-digital-communication/

https://www.medenshealth.com/blog/human-connection-in-the-digital-age

https://www.unc.edu/discover/why-handwritten-letters-mean-so-much/#

https://www.verywellmind.com/sending-and-receiving-letters-have-powerful-benefits-5095709#

https://magnoliatreecounseling.com/blog/f/snail-mail-the-benefits-of-hand-written-letters#

https://thepostmansknock.com/7-reasons-to-write-letters/#

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