Shift Your Focus & Change Your Day - The Impacts Of Expressing Gratitude

Ah, it’s the most wonderful time of the year, the holiday season! And, while that brings joy for many, including an abundance of opportunities for smiles and happiness, it also brings a lot of stress.

There’s more time with family…which can be good but also adds stress.

There’s end of the year work deadlines…which can cause many sleepless nights, added strain, and lots of stress.

There’s extra travel, extra spending, extra food…which can all pile on more, you guessed it, stress!

As the year comes to a close and another one begins, we’re commonly confronted with a conundrum - how can I be productive, take it all in, be present, and truly enjoy each day?

In a word - gratitude.

Practicing gratitude involves both acknowledging and showing appreciation for all the good things in your life, big and small.

Practicing gratitude can improve your mood, increase feelings of happiness, reduce stress, improve relationships, help you sleep, help you tackle challenges, and so much more!

So, what better time is there to start expressing gratitude throughout your day than a time typically characterized by stress, lack of sleep, and hectic schedules, right?

What Is Gratitude - Seeing The Good And Expressing Gratefulness

We easily understand gratitude when we’ve been given a gift or when someone shows us kindness.

And, I’m sure many of you even have a long list of things you’re grateful for, especially near the Thanksgiving holiday, a time when we often ponder all the things for which we’re truly thankful.

But, a true understanding of gratitude involves a prevailing attitude…and attitude of gratitude, if you will.

When you practice gratitude, or when you live life with an attitude of gratitude, you’re actually seeking good things, those things that would “make your grateful list,” both at Thanksgiving time and all throughout any given day.

Of course, this doesn’t negate the not-so-pleasant things that happen throughout your days, but it frames your perspective, prompting you to be more appreciative of the things that mean the most.

It’s a shift, really.

Instead of taking notice of the long lines of traffic during holiday shopping or on your commute each morning, you appreciate the changing leaves on the trees that line the sidewalk - those bright orange, yellow, and deeply red hues that grace us for a few brief moments prior to turning brown and floating away with the next rain or wind gust.

Or, instead of falling into the grumpiness trap amidst the stresses that present themselves at the end of the year, you intentionally express gratitude for the extra work your secretary is doing.

This will not only make your secretary’s day to day tasks more pleasant, but it will make him/her feel appreciated, relieve stress that each of you may be feeling, and in turn, you’ll likely begin noticing other positive things around the office.

Instead of growing impatient about sibling squabbles and untimely messes, we can choose to realize that those messes mean nothing in the grand scheme of things, but a kind word and a heart of gratitude for time spent with your children can positively impact each of you.

Simply put, gratitude recognizes the things (big and small) in this life that, well, make it so very wonderful.

And, once you begin to view your day through such a lens, you’ll begin to notice that these positive gifts almost always outweigh the unpleasant parts.

Then, that morning sunrise will become more vibrant, and you’ll notice colors within this beauty that might have seemed obscured prior to this mindset shift.

Time with your family will be more pleasant when you focus on what you’re grateful for instead of the minor stresses that work against our personal desires and test our patience.

Choosing to focus on the greatest things throughout each day…this is what truly matters, even when...

…your luggage gets lost on your trip home to visit family.

This is by no means a pleasant situation, but an attitude of gratitude can still be present with a bit of perspective.

In such a situation, how would your stress levels, patience, and overall experience shift if you took a moment to realize what you have to be grateful for even in the midst of an unfortunate circumstance?

• Will you still get to be with your family? That’s a good thing.

• You actually have clothes/luggage to lose. Some folks don’t.

Don’t let one circumstance, no matter how frustrating, capitalize all of your time and thoughts.

Instead, shift your mindset to see how excited your children are for the season, how happy your parents will be to see you, how happy you’ll be to see your parents. All of these things can help you express gratitude, even in a less-than-ideal situation.

Shifting to a broader topic, what about relationships…

You’ve asked your spouse to hang a mirror in your entryway, a task which they gladly said they would do. Three months later, the mirror is finally hung.

You can be bitter about the three-month timeframe, or you can be grateful for the fine job on the mirror.

Now, let’s apply that to working with the public…

You’ve been having a rough morning, and three customers in a row were rude, impatient, and demanding. Customer number four, however, was kind, complimented you on a job well done, and even did so wearing a big, bright smile.

Being grateful for customer number four can not only lift your mood, it can make you forget all about any prior rudeness.

Even if the situation is reversed and the clerk happens to be rude to you, the customer, is there really a reason to allow this to ruin your day?

What if you showed empathy, thinking about how exhausted the clerk may be, and instead sought to show kindness, even appreciation for their efforts?

Such an interaction, one where you express gratitude or appreciation, can certainly improve your mood, and it will likely lift the clerk’s spirits more than you know.

When you seek to have an attitude of gratitude all throughout each day, first you must shift your focus beyond your immediate circumstances.

When confronted with a dismal day or situation, it’s good to think past those immediate circumstances, realizing such moments are only a very small fraction of your day, or that day is only a small fraction of your life.

We also tend to notice things to be grateful for when we use our senses, even seeing what’s right in front of us.

Take the store clerk, for instance.

Hearing the kind compliment from the customer, seeing the smile on their face, recognizing the good you see and hear, this is a vital part of gratitude.

On your commute, it might be easy to see the traffic lines or hear the horns blowing, but it’s equally as simple to feel the warmth inside your car, shielding you from the elements; and it’s equally as simple to see the sky above, showcasing such a beautifully vibrant shade of blue.

I suppose it all comes down to a choice - a choice to be grateful for, or appreciative of, the big and small things that bring goodness into your life.

Gratitude greatly involves seeing the good or positive things happening to you and around you throughout the day, but as we’ve mentioned and alluded to several times, perspective is also a big part of gratitude.

Actually, this is precisely what seems to increase our sense of gratitude the more we practice it.

To reiterate, as we express gratitude, what we’re really doing is shaking off any focus on the trivial, instead seeing what matters most.

And before you know it, trivial things seem to nearly melt away, and those little positive things we rarely take notice of are suddenly all around us.

Robert Emmons is said to be the world’s leading expert on the science of gratitude, and he states that gratitude is “an affirmation of goodness.”

He adds, “when we practice gratitude, we acknowledge the good things in the world [even] the gifts we’ve received in our lives…this doesn’t mean that life is perfect; it doesn’t ignore complaints, burdens, and hassles. But when we look at life as a whole, gratitude encourages us to identify some amount of goodness in our life.”

Now, I realize he’s the expert, but I’d like to weigh in with a little caveat, having experienced this in my own life.

I would change “some amount of goodness in our life” to all the amazing goodness in our life.

I say this because we all know that bad days will come - sorrow and grief, pain and impatience, frustrations and more - but, expressing gratitude allows you to see the good in the midst of it all.

Perhaps this is at the heart of what Emmons was saying, but for me, practicing gratitude has wholly removed any veiling of the good and blessed things present throughout each and every day.

How Can I Express Gratitude?

Now that we have a better understanding of what gratitude is and how we can look for those big and small positives each day, what are some ways you can express gratitude?

1- Gratitude Journal

One way to express gratitude is by keeping a journal where you list or write about the good things in your life.

Perhaps your journal consists of a daily list, writing or typing out a specific number of things that occurred throughout your day that you’re grateful for, such as a long walk after work, drinks with friends, the blessing of buying gifts for family, the blessing of receiving gifts from family, a hot cup of coffee, etc. Or maybe your journal is written in paragraph form, further delving into why a circumstance, a person, or thing brought you joy?

Either way, the purpose of a gratitude journal is to force you to take the time to acknowledge or notice…even remember and focus on…the good things in your life that you might otherwise take for granted.

2- Train Your Tongue

Seek to use positive language, choosing to use words such as gift, blessing, fortunate, and abundance.

Using these kinds of words essentially trains your brain to then see those same things in life - gifts, blessings, fortunate moments and events, abundance.

3- See Beauty, Speak Beauty

Personally, I’ve seen the power in this practice.

For several years now, I’ve challenged myself in the following way: when I see something good, positive, kind, warm, or just something that I appreciate, I say something.

Alone, while out walking, I might audibly utter: “I’m so thankful for this cool breeze.”

To the clerk at the grocery store: I let them know that I greatly appreciate their kindness and warm smile, wishing them a wonderful day.

To my children: I tell them how much I enjoy our chats, how much their smile brings me joy, or how much their laughter warms my heart.

Especially amidst the chaos that often ensues throughout the holiday season, offering a kind word expresses gratitude in a way that communicates care, often resulting in a ripple effect of smiles and warmth.

Overall, I can honestly say that this practice has caused me to truly see beauty, to see things I’m grateful for, all throughout any given day.

4- Good Thoughts, Good Words, Good Deeds

Revisiting the notion of gratitude bringing about a shift in focus or perspective, I would like to challenge you to intentionally think good thoughts, speak good words, and do good deeds.

I know this may not be a typical way to think about expressing gratitude, but I can assure you, when you train your thoughts, tongue, and actions in such a way, it will absolutely cause you to begin seeing so many positive people, moments, and things all throughout your day.

In other words, look for the good, but also seek to be the good in this world.

5- Promise To See The Positive

Studies show that making a promise, a vow, or an oath is a powerful way to ensure you will do the thing you’ve promised to do.

So, if you want to be intentional about expressing gratitude, acknowledging the good gifts you experience throughout any given day, make a promise to yourself to do just that.

The Impact Of Gratitude…On Us And Others

While we’ve already included some ways that expressing gratitude impacts both you and others, let’s close out this discussion by taking a deeper look at those effects.

1- Strengthens Relationships

This may go without saying, but if you seek to practice gratitude in your home, in your workplace, with your friends, etc. this will undoubtedly improve or strengthen such relationships.

I mean think about it, if you’re constantly seeing or looking for the negative in your spouse, children, colleagues, and friends, this will only serve to cast a gloomy shadow over the entire relationship.

Gratitude, on the other hand, almost always brings out the best in you and others.

2- Improves Physical Health

Believe it or not, practicing gratitude can actually improve your physical health!

Studies show that a regular practice of acknowledging the good things in your life can lower blood pressure, lead to better sleep quality, and strengthen your immune system.

In general, those who practice gratitude also exercise more, eat more nutritious meals, and take better care of themselves overall.

Some folks have even experienced reductions in pain when practicing daily gratitude.

So, in a time of year when stress is high, sleep quality is diminished, our meal choices are extravagant, and our immune systems are often taxed, what better way to combat these issues than spreading a little joy through expressed gratitude!

3- Better Self-Esteem

Looking for the good in others also helps you to see the good in you!

Having a prevailing sense of gratitude helps you see your own self-worth; it allows you to see how others value you (as you value them); and it allows you to internalize the positive aspects you’re now seeing in others.

4- Improves Mental/Emotional Health

When we regularly practice or express gratitude, we shift our focus to the positive.

In doing so, this has been proven to reduce stress, reduce symptoms of depression, and make individuals feel happier.

For instance, focusing on what you have, instead of what you don’t have, can banish negative feelings of discontentment and stress.

Seeing the joyful things in life, well, it indeed can make you more joyful in return.

This doesn’t negate any real, less-than-positive, circumstances, but it can truly aid you in the midst of such situations.

5- Encourages Patience And Forgiveness

Studies have shown that practicing gratitude also encourages forgiveness.

A lack of forgiveness can have a host of unwanted, negative effects, from physical, to mental, and of course, emotional detriments.

Gratitude enables us to more easily forgive, which “builds emotional strength, [helping you to] let go of resentment and anger.”

And, gratitude builds patience.

Researchers have found that “people with higher levels of gratitude over the little things in life are more likely to be patient...”

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So now, I want to leave you with a challenge to look for the good things, big and small.

I want to challenge you to acknowledge the gifts, blessings, or positive things in your life, and express gratitude for at least one thing today.

And, before I close, allow me to say - I’m truly grateful for you!

May your days be filled with moments that prompt you to be grateful, always.

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References:

https://www.health.harvard.edu/healthbeat/giving-thanks-can-make-you-happier#

https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-gratitude-5206817#

https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/gratitude.html#

https://www.helpguide.org/mental-health/wellbeing/gratitude

https://www.calm.com/blog/how-to-practice-gratitude#

https://www.health.com/gratitude-8563810#

https://www.mindful.org/an-introduction-to-mindful-gratitude/#

https://dayoneapp.com/blog/gratitude-journal/